Okay, so all the experts say you should save 10% of a budget when remodeling a home for those unexpected problems. In demopolis, you should ramp that up and hire someone full time to monitor quality control. Here are a list of things we've encountered for your reading enjoyment.
20. Wood floor guy recommends servicing AC/Heating. I was getting on an airplane for Utah (so the floors could be done) when wood floor guy called with the news. Said i needed to have the heat pump fixed so he could seal the floors. He also offered to have a friend come over and fix it while we were gone. It wasn't broken when we left, but . . . upon independent inspection it turns out it was a simple matter of "heat" or "cool", not fan.
19. It takes 20 garage door orders to get a shipment to this town. That's right. We ordered ours the end of September and they aren't here yet. AWESOME.
18. When mowing your lawn you realize there are shingles burried under your backyard. (What the!) Large amounts of roofing, under the grass. We'll have to tackle this one later.
17. Cabinetry is for the few and foolish. We've also been working on this one since Oct. 1. Forget inset cabinets, we're keeping it nice and simple. He's supposed to be the best in town and should be installing sometime next week.
16. Countertops are 3 weeks out, after cabinets are installed and someone can come out and measure. That means I've been trying to get stuff here since Oct. 1 and I will be lucky to have kitchen countertops by my birthday.
15. Cesearstone white carrara isn't the same color out here. My original choice, the ease of quartz with the beauty of marble. Same brand, same color: in utah it's white. i've seen it installed. Out here, it's dirty beige. Go figure.
14. Electrician quotes not in numbers but in metaphors. When pressed, his best estimate is, "I'm the cheapest in town." Needless to say, Kyle did the work.
13. Speaking of electrical, stove breaker mislabled. Almost had to cash in Kyle's life insurance for this one.
12. Sears owner personally delivers, and drops, our new stainless steel range on porch steps.
11. Sears owner gives odds of not scratching our new wood floors: 55%. ("Well, ma'am, we're not saying we will scratch your floors . . . ")
10. Rohl kitchen faucet (solid brass, nickel plated) new in box, blemished.
9. Restoration hardware pendant lighting, new in box, threads stripped.
8. Paint bubbles all over walls, using high quality Benjamin Moore, even after extensive sanding and recoats. Painters quote: "What the #$%@! Did someone rub the walls down with pledge?"
7. Dead trees looming over almost done kitchen. Tornado warnings were out yesterday all day. Kyle tried to bring the tree down with a rope and pully system. Chainsaw needed.
6. Hot water heater needs repair, second floor only.
5. Textured ceiling unrepairable in kitchen. Impetus for the wood masterpiece that now resides over our head.
4. Takes two hours to open a bank account. (Time is money, people!) For the love, the next time we open an account we'll call ahead.
3. Wood floor guy stains around painters toolbox, permanently damages stairs.
He is currently working on a small refund, although he's short on cash. We are now in the credit business.
2. Leash law not enforced, 100 doogies on your lawn. Wide and expansive, a new vinyl fence is out of the question.
1. Around 2000 square feet of carpet installed, snag running through entire batch.
Good times here in demopolis. Now that we've properly set expectations, we'd love to have visitors any time. :)
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3 comments:
Wow. Good luck with things.
I read this and didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Just remember, we have a guest room if you need a break from the fun.
Ok Brit, that was funny. I'm sure something will go right, Right? You're doing good, it was sure nice to talk to you today. Love you, miss you, hope to see you soon.
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