Part 2: He still has a wife

Thanks for all the calls since Kyle's last post. No, I am not leaving or going back to Utah. But here’s a little window into some things I’ve been thinking about lately.

When Kyle and I met we had an instant connection and fell madly in love. We knew he was going to be leaving on a mission, and so each moment counted. We rode singletrack, held hands, wrote love letters. We ate good food, watched the stars, walked the beach, and so much more.

Looking back, that year is priceless to me because it was a time when I felt really alive and happy. No burdens. No immediate cares. It just was what it was.

Kyle came home from his mission June 2 and we were married August 16. And somehow between then and now our relationship was hijacked. Our mantra has blurred from “I love you and will do anything for you” to “I love you but let’s be practical and responsible about it.”

Now, I’m all about being practical and responsible. But those two traits can grow into monsters capable of and suffocating the life, the aliveness, out of a marriage.

So essentially, I’ve had it. Not with Kyle, but with where we’re at and how I’ve been feeling lately. I’m not trading another bit of youth and health and passion and love for something that I won’t remember or will simply add another dollar to my bottom line.

And to be fair, Kyle has had it too. His main complaint is, “Whenever you have free time all you want to do is sleep.” And he’s right. I’m exhausted. The work, the moving, the kids, the school, the traveling . . . I just don’t have enough to go around.

So, together we’ve drawn our line in the sand. We’re selling the house. We’re downsizing. We’re simplifying. We’re going to live on less and do more.

I tell clients all the time: “If you want to keep your customers, you need to surprise and delight them.” It’s about the little things. The thoughtful things. The “I just did a little something to make your life better” things. Why should it be any different with marriage?

So speaking of clients, I officially stopped work with Dialect and American Express today in hopes of freeing up time to bring my marriage back to life. A hard decision, but I’ve been smiling all day.

Kyle and I have both put a lot on hold to get him through school debt free and to start a family. But we’re at the point where we’re not willing to put some things on hold any longer. Like time. Like passion. Like the little things.

Does any of this make sense?

Kyle, I love you babe. Here’s to the line in the sand and returning to our roots.

Ode to the Page family

Some of our best friends officially left Alabama for Vermont this weekend. All that is left of the Page family are memories and one of Luke's socks. So, in celebration of their new adventure, here is a top 17 recap of why we love them, in no particular order:

17.Because Gina calculates driving time to Vermont in pottery barn outlet's passed.
16. Because we have a new child-proofing method: "Luke Proof."
15.Because we talked them into ditching their apartment for a sweet house near ours.
14.Because their kids are blond and cute enough to claim as our own.
13.Because Todd gives the best welcome speeches at dinner.
12. Because Gina has put up with me calling her "Tina" for all these years.
11. Because no one has more passion for Costco. Seriously.
10. Because they pay tens, hundreds, or even thousands less than we do for everything.
9. Because Todd is always up for a good debate. Even with Ella.
8. Because when Gina forgets her walking shoes she uses kyle's.
7. Because one working mom understands the other.
6. Because Todd witnessed Kyle's mishap with gas and fire and lived to tell about it.
5. Because our van is still programed with their garage door.
4. Because they share our love of pico de gillo.
3. Because days at the pool just won't be the same without them!
2 .Because Alabama just won't be the same without them!
1. Because we now have a new vacation home--VERMONT!

Todd got a sweet job in vermont in his home town of Rutland and i believe Gina has officially retired. YAHOO. Here's to good times!

demopolis sunday school--a reason to stay

Tonight kyle and i had some kids over for dinner and fun. i don't think they eat mexican very often because i had to help them wrap up their burritos. then we played a game to help us get to know one another. They wrote their answers on paper and then we read them aloud and tried to guess who said what.

Six out of the seven kids said that their biggest worry in life was graduating from either the grade they were in or from the 12th grade.

Did i ever once worry i wouldn't graduate from high school? Nope. Never even crossed my mind.

Tonight i have no answers. Just a lot of wishes. A wish for my girls on their birthdays. A wish for my mom, for always being there. And a wish for love and hope to flourish wherever they may be found.

I luckily still have a wife

All I have to say is I have a great wife! I have put her through hell and back and I just about broke her yesterday and I am sorry.

It all started few months after we got married and I quit my job at BYU so I would have time to train and race my bike. Meanwhile she taught piano lessons, had a job editing at my family tales and was finishing her degree at BYU. Then I move her 2000 miles across the country to Alabama of all places, away from all family, and friends only a few months after Ella was born. She continued to work from the home and take care of Ella while I was at school and studying all day. We sold all of her bikes to pay for my tuition while I kept 2 and rode them often. I later picked up golf and played at least once a week I think I even played the day kate was born. She continued to work and take care of our family.

More recently I told her we should not move back to Utah and bought a house in Demopolis without her seeing it. We sold our house in Gardendale, moved into a 3rd story apartment with no furniture for 3 months (literally no furniture) then moved into our house in demopolis that was under remodeling and lived without a kitchen of 3 months. The day our kitchen was finished (Brittney's dream kitchen) I told I felt like we should sell the house and move around the corner to a slightly smaller house. (which she was ok with)

Yesterday we had someone coming to look at the house and I had the morning off work and was painting but was called by work and told I had 5 patients waiting for me so I had to clean up leave and the house was not in showing condition. This was the straw that broke the camels back. Brittney got the job done, cleaned up the house while chasing two crazy children, did I mention it was her Birthday! and Ella's Birthday! I did not get her a birthday present, only the thought of moving again.

I am lucky to still have a wife.

She has made our family what it is, in every way, socailly, emotionally, spirtually, financially, physically everything. She makes the friends, I scare them away, she makes the money, I spend it, she plans scripture study, I bring golf digest, It's a birthday or specail event, I don't forget but don't do anything about it. I am a lowlife.

I am lucky to still have a wife.

Enough said, I want Brittney and everyone else to know she is awesome, I am sorry for making her life miserable, please don't leave me.

p.s. We have one more potential buyer for the house and if they don't buy it we are not selling.

Eenee, meenee, minee, moe

Which house do you like better?















For those of you who don't know, kyle has decided he wants to move to a smaller house around the corner and across from the golf course. He calls it "The gillespie economic stimulas package." Our kitchen is finished, so of course it makes perfect sense that we would move.

Flowers, compliments of Kyle. Also, grandma anne sent the girls a birthday package with real butterflies in it. Ella says, "I'm going to go watch a movie with my worms." What she means is her caterpillars.

yes, it is appropriate to send flowers

My friend kathy called after romney's cpac speech:"is it appropriate to send flowers?" With the news of romney's withdrawl i guess she figured i'd turn off the lights and wear black for a month.

But . . . Romney's cpac-turned-concession speech really moved me and helped me be optomistic about the future of the conservative movement. It reinforced my committment to teach my girls about what America can offer her people, if we let her.

So on that note, i took the girls to the park for some fun in the sun. we stayed outside for about 3 hours. it was a much needed recharge as we get ready for an upbeat weekend with the page family, our last before they move to vermont.


LONG LIVE ROMNEY.

so many things

we drove to birmingham last night to vote and the super-tuesday throw down is making me crazy. so, to distract myself from the delegate count, here's some pix of the the kids.

also, check out the bro in iraq. been missing him a lot lately, as well as the rest of the fam.